Credit Crunch Jokes

Want to hear some jokes and gags about the credit crunch/economic meltdown? These are coming out of the City of London, the financial district of probably the center of the financial world, so you have to say at least they have a sense of humor about it all. These are from The London Paper, by the way, not thought up by us.

What's the difference between an investment banker and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.

What do Wall Street and the Olympics have in common?
Synchronised diving.

The credit crunch is getting bad--
--I lent my brother ten quid (translation: bucks) a few weeks ago and it turns out I'm Britain's largest lender.

I've had terrible problems during the credit crunch--
--but I'm back on my feet now--they've repossessed my car.

What's the definition of optimism?
--A banker who irons five shirts on Sunday.

City stock trader: 'It's worse than a divorce! I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife!'

What's the capital of Iceland?
--£3.50 (If you haven't heard, Iceland and Ireland are both in a dire financial meltdown.)

A masked man holding up a bank cashier with a gun says: 'I don't want any money! I just want you to start lending to each other!'

What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon?
--A pigeon can place a deposit on a Ferrari.

Matt here. At my office they forwarded around some Chuck Norris jokes about the crisis. If you're not in on the Chuck Norris jokes, there are a bunch of jokes around that all center on how awesome Chuck Norris is. For example; there is no 'ctrl' key on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Here are some financial crisis ones.

The tears of Chuck Norris would supply enough liquidity to solve the credit crisis. Too bad he never cries.

When the U.S. economy sneezes, the world catches a cold. When Chuck Norris sneezes, the U.S. economy catches pneumonia.

Chuck Norris doesn't supply collateral, only collateral damage.

Chuck Norris trades on fear and greed simultaneously.

Alan Greenspan calls Chuck Norris ``The Maestro.''

Chuck Norris has a trade surplus with China.